On our one-month anniversary, Mr. T paid for me to get my belly button pierced.  I’ve always been a wimp when it comes to having needles near my body (I fainted the first two times I received acupuncture treatment, and giving blood is out of the question), so getting this piercing took a lot of guts.

I remember lying on the cold, hard table at the piercing store, breathing in the nauseating smells of alcohol and antiseptics.  I couldn’t look at the lady who was preparing my belly button for the procedure, so I instead looked up at Mr. T.  When the piercer wielded the needle, Mr. T shifted his eyes and got a little pale so I tried thinking happy thoughts to keep from fainting.  She asked me to take a deep breath and exhale.  As I did this, she inserted the needle through my skin and slid the piercing in place.  Miraculously, it didn’t hurt a bit!

Fast forward nine months.  Mr. T has been after me to change my piercing.  He bought me two very cute dangley pieces, one a sparkly firefly and the other a pink fairy.  However, I couldn’t bring myself to even think about removing my original piercing without feeling faint.  I kept making up excuses for not changing the piercings, finally admitting my fear.

Last night, all alone in my house, I decided it was time for a change (really smart move for someone who faints easily).  I wiggled the original jewelry until I was able to unscrew the top and pull it out.  My heart pounding and my ears buzzing (I’m such a wimp, seriously), I took the firefly stud and stuck it into the hole in my belly button.  It went in easily through the bottom half of the piercing, but then it wasn’t coming out!!  I panicked for a second and imagined the stud piercing my guts (yes, I have a hyperactive imagination).  Then, miraculously, with a little wiggling the stud came out the other side!  I quickly secured it and sat on my bed, ears ringing and heart pounding.

I shudder to think what would have happened had I fainted.  It’s not like my dog knows how to call 9-1-1.  I could’ve died and I would’ve been found days later, wearing bright yellow Spongebob Squarepants pajamas and a dangling dragon fly belly ring.  I think I have to start wearing nicer pajamas or teach my dog how to dial the cell phone.