I am in search of a nice pair of semi-casual white pants. This seems like a straight-forward request, doesn’t it? Nothing could be further from the truth!

Why, oh why, can’t they make a decent pair of white pants? Is it really that hard? Some are too tight around the butt, and therefore allow you to share your choice of thong with the world. Then there’s the issue of the pocket outline. They can send people to the moon, but they have yet to invent a white fabric that won’t allow the imprint of the pockets to show through. *sigh* Have they ever considered pants without pockets? Is it really that hard, people?

I went to the mall to buy a pair of white pants. I left with a dress, a pair of orange pants, a sweater, a shirt, and a very cool vest. But no white pants.

And while we’re on the topic of malls, have I ever mentioned that I hate automatically flushing toilets? Yes, they make for a cleaner potty experience. After all, nobody enjoys a floater. But, please tell me I’m not the only one who has encountered a flush-happy toilet. You know the ones. You carefully extract a seat cover, position it gingerly over the seat, and just as you’re about to sit down… BA-WOOSH!! There goes your seat cover and your butt gets a nice misting!! @#$%^&!

And speaking of things you’d like to flush down toilets, I checked my e-mail this afternoon only to find out that I now have competition. WTF? See, for three years, I have been the only person in my neck of the woods who puts up with neurotic bitches hell bent on avoiding spinsterhood coordinates weddings for foreigners. But today my friend A., the director of operations at a hotel where I do weddings, informed me that a local girl contacted her and mentioned that she was thinking of starting a wedding planning service for foreigners.

Of course, she has a lot of catching up to do. I’m fortunate to have a trustworthy group of vendors and many satisfied clients. But this irks me to no end because I am SURE that she’s going to sell herself very cheaply (as most Mexicans are prone to do), and this is just going to result in a lot of cheap couples taking up my time doing comparison shopping. I can see it now: “But, what’s-her-face charges half what you do.” Yeah, but you get what you pay for. Ah, well… My monopoly couldn’t last forever, right?

But it’s funny, just this morning I was thinking how incredibly perfect my life is right now. I have a stable business, a healthy lifestyle, and a loving relationship. Now I have to worry about a little competition. But who knows? It might spice things up a bit!

And speaking of spicing things up a bit, look what I got for myself as a “You’ve come a long way, baby” present.

ring-on-hand.jpg ring-alone.jpg Pretty, isn’t it?

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