We came back home after our trip to find that insects had moved into our respective dwellings.  Mr. T has a beehive on his upstairs patio and my apartment is overrun by ants.  I can’t leave a single crumb on the counter, or the tiniest speck of dog food on the floor, because within minutes ants will swarm around the tasty morsel like Italians around a gelato store during a record-breaking heat wave.

In other news… Mr. T got sued by his insane next-door neighbor, who claims it’s his fault that the entire row of townhouses had to be tented for termites.  Mind you, had it not been for Mr. T actually discovering the termites, every home would’ve collapsed during the next earthquake.  Now he’s trying to counter-sue, but she conveniently skipped town and is returning the day of the trial.  This is the same neighbor who threatened to call Child Protective Services because another neighbor’s two-year old fell, bumped his head, and was crying.  Did I mention she walks her cat on a leash?  Some people should go live on a deserted island…

As if this weren’t enough drama for my poor man, Alitalia lost his suitcase somewhere between Naples and Milan.  Sadly, two beautiful brand-new Italian linen shirts were in the bag.  Luckily, so were many of his old, ratty shirts, which I had been wanting to get rid of for a while now… I finally get to go shopping for new clothes for my man!!  (I’m doing the shopping dance in my chair!)

And speaking of clothes, my closet is bursting at the seams (haha, get it?!) with all the new fashions I bought.  An entire post must be dedicated to the intricacies of shopping in Italy.  It’s not a sport for the shy or faint-of-heart (or for those who aren’t fluent in Italian, either!).

Did I mention I was a victim of a “butt-grab and run” incident in Naples?  I guess there are pathetic losers everywhere.  Mr. T made it all better, though.  But that, my friends, is the topic of yet another post.

I must conclude this exercise in procrastination by announcing that I am now the proud holder of a student visa!  And it only took me eight hours of sitting in a 90-degree American consulate to get it!  I start school on September 7, so enjoy my brilliant (haha) posts while they last, because once school starts, I’ll be lucky if I can remember to walk the dog!

Gotta go, the ants are climbing up my arms!!!  GAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!